


Blame the Rats

by callasyndra



Series: Paradox 'verse [2]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003), Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: AU that does what I want it to do, All the spoilers for Fullmetal Alchemist, Canon Smash, Multi, Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-09-18 21:41:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9404252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/callasyndra/pseuds/callasyndra
Summary: They thought the hardest part would be getting the doubles back.  Then the zombies appeared.





	

**Author's Note:**

> No, Paradox isn't done yet. The thing is Paradox is this huge 'verse in my head and I've got stuff going on at all different times. With the Presidential Inauguration happening in the United States today I needed something else to concentrate on. A zombie apocalypse is something I've wanted to include in this 'verse for a very long time. So happy end of times! I'll keep plugging away at the first part of Paradox and will probably end up doing more of these small bits. Tried to keep anything super spoilery out of this since Paradox part one isn't done yet.

**Technically this is part II of the Paradox 'verse.  AO3 is being weird**

**Central, Amestris**

As far as anyone could tell it began in the sewers.  There was still no conclusive evidence that rats were to blame for the zombies, but none of the smaller cities and counties that didn’t have sewers had a zombie outbreak.  Many of the first attempts to blame the rats by specialists ended quickly when said specialists were bitten and became zombies themselves.  All alchemists in Central were called upon to create a great wall around the city to keep the horde from      escaping into the countryside and the smaller cities.  Before the military was overrun Grumman had placed an executive order for all alchemists in outlying cities with sewers to place walls around those cities to protect the remaining humans.  It was one of the last orders the old man gave.

Upon the discovery of the initial zombie infection, both Mustangs had immediately thought of Gracia and Elysia by themselves in the city.  A phone call had been made to have Hughes’ family brought to the now not so small townhouse where all the doubles were again living.  Roy and Edward had returned from their adventures at Ft. Briggs, Alphonse was back from his auto-mail training with Winry at Rush Valley, and Al had returned not long ago from visiting with Ling and May in Xing.  The irony of not having to hide the doubles anymore since most of Central was now being overrun by undead hadn’t been lost on Ed and Roy Arthur Mustang.  At some point Ed had just said “Fuck it all” and drawn up arrays for Arthur to transmute all the surrounding (abandoned) buildings nearby into one large compound they were all currently living in.

All of Team Mustang was now ensconced in the headquarters they’d cobbled together, and the team of Al, Alphonse, and Major Armstrong had just returned with as many non-infected people as they’d been able to find.  Fuery had just intercepted a radio transmission stating one of the remaining military pockets had King Bradley’s widow and Selim with them.  Ed made a face at Arthur, who just sighed back at him.

“Find out where they are so we can get them here,” Arthur murmured to Fuery before laying a hand on Fuery’s shoulder in support.  “We’ll need to add more living quarters, Ed.  We’re almost maxed out as it is.”

“Alphonse and I will take care of that, Arthur.  Why don’t you and Ed go get some rest?  You’ve been working on weeding them out all morning.  Both of you look like you’d fall over if the wind hit you just right,” Al said in concern.

Wearily, Ed looked at his little brother.  It didn’t even matter anymore that he and Arthur had been stumbling into some kind of relationship.  They’d been tip-toeing around the idea of telling the others when news of the zombies hit and the others basically just told both of them ‘We already know, spend the time you can together and don’t get dead.’

Al gave him a quick hug then pushed him in the direction of their now shared bedroom.  “Go on, Brother.  We’ve got this.”

Stumbling with exhaustion, Ed turned and grabbed Arthur’s sleeve.  “C’mon you bastard, we both need rest.”

Blinking, Arthur stared at Ed, turned to see the shooing motion Al was giving them, and then obediently followed Ed up the stairs into their room.

Alphonse stared after them for a moment before heaving a large sigh.  “They really will run each other into the ground.  Where are Roy and my brother right now?”

Al grinned merrily at him.  “Last time I checked they were tearing up zombies on the east side of the city.  They were told to bring food back with them by 5 pm with curfew in place.  And I’m sure they’re going to be running late because they snuck into some unoccupied building to make out.”

Alphonse shook his head and grinned.  “Well at least they’re consistent.  Has Hawkeye been keeping watch over them?”

“As if she would miss the opportunity to watch those two tearing up the city,” Al scoffed.  “They’re carrying out destruction just as planned according to her.  She also heard from Ft. Briggs.  Major Miles says they’ve almost completed the tunnel to North City to begin the evacuation.  They’re going to burn the entire city once everyone’s out since fire has worked so well on the zombies.”

Alphonse narrowed his eyes at his double fractionally.  _“I’m assuming you said that out loud for Major Armstrong’s sake.”_

Al widened his eyes innocently.  _“Of course I did.  But we really don’t need to let everyone else know we can talk like this as easily as we can now.  The permanent soul bond we’ve created would freak them out.”_

 _“True.  But we had to do something so that we can still communicate after Brother and Roy and I go back,”_ Alphonse thought back at him.

 _“At this point we’ll be lucky if we can make the zombie problem go away.  If we can’t we’ll miss the window,”_ Al thought to Alphonse quietly.

The two stared at each other for a few moments before Major Armstrong sparkled up to them.  “Shall we see about making this compound larger?” Armstrong rumbled at them.

Alphonse turned his cheekiest grin towards the huge man.  “Of course, Major.  Have you heard from your sister lately?”

Armstrong blinked down at him.  “Olivier is in the midst of rescuing North City and Catherine was evacuated early with my parents.  Strongine and Amue went to Rush Valley to help the mechanics create more anti-zombie attachments.  You know very well my sisters all come from generations of Armstrongs, and this current situation is only a small one.  We shall prevail against the zombie hordes!”

Al made a face at Alphonse.  _“You just like to have him mention the Armstrong legacy.”_

Alphonse grinned at Al.  _“You know me so well.”_

Still teasing each other, the two younger Elrics followed Armstrong off to create a bigger compound for the incoming non-zombie guests.

**The Gate**

          Envy had been one of the first in the Gate to see the zombies.  He’d immediately gone on a walk to find one of the ever-present Hughes in one of the underutilized hallways.  This Hughes had been watching the growing zombie numbers on one of the screens.  As Envy approached, Hughes frowned heavily.

          “This is going to be a problem.  At the rate they’re multiplying the halls here will be overrun with souls that weren’t supposed to arrive yet.  The Gatekeeper is being unusually resistant to the idea of interfering, but soon he won’t have a choice.  We can’t support more souls here than down in the living.”

          Envy watched the screens quietly for a few minutes.  “What are you thinking of suggesting?” he asked softly.

          Hughes ran a hand through his hair in irritation.  “We need to eradicate this problem quickly with as little death among the uninfected as possible.  Our little experiment is holding its own down there, but if we’re going to interfere we need to hit all the cities at once.”

          Envy pulled at one of the long spikes of his hair in contemplation.  “I have an idea, but I don’t know if you’ll like it.”

          Hughes turned to face him fully.  “Any suggestion would be helpful right now, you know that.”

          Envy looked off to the side before deciding to just say it.  “There are multiple copies of homunculi here as well as some powerful alchemists.  If the Gatekeeper would agree to a time limit we could go down there and get rid of the zombies.  It’s not like any of us are enjoying watching all this destruction.  Even those of us who might have liked it in the beginning are worried that there won’t be anything left,” Envy murmured quietly.

          Hughes scratched at his cheek.  “Wrath was enjoying himself in the beginning I take it?”

“Right up until it occurred to him that his wife and Selim would get turned, yes.”

Hughes took his glassed off and played with them for a moment before putting them back on.  “I don’t know if I can get him to go for it.  But you’re right, if we let everyone out to take care of this it would take care of it.”

Now that he had a Hughes interested Envy pushed a bit more.  “There could be a 12-hour limit.  The Gatekeeper will know where everyone of us is and he can open a gate and snatch us back whether we want to go or not.  And since we’re technically non-corporeal or human anymore the zombies can’t hurt us.  We can end this in a day.  But not if we’re stuck here.”

Rolling his shoulders, Hughes nodded.  “I’ll run it by him.  I think teams may work best...”

Envy thought it over and nodded in agreement.  Teams made the most since as anyone sent back to the living world would have to be sent to strategic areas to wipe the zombies out.

“Do you have a preference on who you’re sent with?”

“The Greeds and I work well together.  And maybe a Gluttony for clean up.”

Hughes began walking quickly the other way.  “Go talk to them.  Let them know they’d have to come back, but that they could go interact with the living for a few hours once the zombies were wiped out.”

Envy waited until Hughes was gone to let out a breath he’d been holding.  Then he sprinted back to where most of the souls he was familiar with hung out.  He had some persuading to do.

**Central, Amestris**

Ed and Arthur had just woken from some much-needed sleep when Al came running into their bedroom.  “Brother, you won’t believe it.  Get up, come out here, you’ve got to see this!”

“What the fuck, Al?”  Ed grumbled, but followed him stumbling into the hallway and down the stairs.

Alphonse had the front door open and out in what used to be the front yard were Envy, two Greeds, and a Gluttony.  Ed gaped at them before trying to push everyone back into the house.  “Why the fuck are you all just standing there?!?”

Alphonse put out a hand to soothe Ed momentarily.  “Don’t you remember how we got here, Ed?”

Gulping, Ed remembered the story of how the doubles had arrived in the first place.  He looked back outside and bared his teeth at Envy.  “I’ll find a way to tear you apart without alchemy if you hurt anyone,” Ed growled.

With a very small smile, Envy slowly approached the former fullmetal alchemist.  “About that…” Envy held something out to him.  “Consider this a gift.  The Gatekeeper decided that taking your alchemy was too high a price to pay considering you ended Father.  However, I recommend you use this sparingly.  The Gatekeeper may change his mind and take it back if you use it too frequently.”

Envy was holding a strange metal thing out towards him.  Ed reached with his right hand to take it, and the thing flowed over his right hand and lower arm.  Aghast, Ed tried to shake it off, but then felt a tingle he hadn’t felt since getting Al’s body back.  Swallowing, he glanced over at Envy, who nodded encouragingly.  Taking a deep breath, Ed clapped his hands together and changed the metal into a very familiar sword.

Now that Ed had his alchemy back (at least while he wore the metal brace) Envy threw up his hand in a wave.  “Right, we’re off to deal with the zombies.  Wrath took a team over to where his wife and kid are and Lust has another team further west.  We’ve got teams working in all the cities with zombies, but we’ve only got 12 hours to get rid of them.” 

Envy turned to head off in the direction the other homunculi were heading in, but Ed yelled after him. “Wait, let us help you!”

Envy turned back to grin and shake his head.  “Not a chance pipsqueak.  The zombies can’t hurt us and they can still turn all of you.  If we find any survivors, we’ll send them this way!” And with that Envy ran off.

Arthur had come quietly up behind Ed, who was still gaping after Envy.

Al and Alphonse were grinning at each other while Arthur ran a slow hand up Ed’s back.  “Is that what I think it is?” Arthur asked carefully.

Ed blinked up into Arthur’s glasses.  “I got my alchemy back,” he whispered dumbly.

“Hmm,” Arthur looked mistrustful of the entire state of affairs, but really, what choice did they have?  Their hands had been full just trying to survive and rescue those still alive.  Accepting help from former enemies wasn’t something they could decline.

Hawkeye walked in from another area of the compound.  “I don’t know what just happened, but Fuery is picking up all kinds of chatter about the zombies being taken out.  We need to prepare for incoming survivors, sir.”

Arthur blinked at her before squeezing Ed’s shoulder.  “You’re right, of course.  Organize search parties so we can bring them here.  Have Roy and Edward gotten back yet?”

A clatter from the front door was their first warning of the arrival before Edward burst in shouting, “You would not believe what’s going on out there!”

~*~

It took hours to clear Central of the undead.  Havoc, Breda, and Falman were on every phone available checking in with the other cities.  Izumi called from Dublith demanding to know why there was a woman who looked **exactly like her** clobbering zombies.  The woman had a preteen and a watery woman with her and Alphonse looked stricken momentarily before grabbing the phone to explain what was happening.

Winry checked in from Rush Valley where Sloth and another Lust were feeding zombies to a grumbling Gluttony.  The unlikely team of Dr. Marcoh, Basque Grand, and Isaach McDougal were up in North City and Olivier Armstrong was demanding to know “What the **hell** was going on!”

Stragglers kept showing up at the compound and Major Armstrong sparkled as he led them to the new quarters.  Hawkeye relayed the latest radio chatter before noting quietly, “I think we may all actually survive this, sir.”

Around 10 pm a small group approached the compound.  Ed’s eyebrows rose almost into his hair when he saw Wrath carrying the exhausted body of Selim and Mrs. Bradley walking beside them.  Envy, the two Greeds, and even Gluttony were there as well.  Everyone eyed Gluttony uneasily until he pouted and muttered, “I’m not hungry, they stuffed me with nasty zombies.”

Wrath glared a bit, but eventually just carried Selim inside and sat down with his wife in a secluded area. 

Envy watched him walk off with a bit of a smile.  Shaking his head a bit, Envy glanced at Ed and company who were looking right back at him.  “Well, we’ve got until 5 am, and I think…”

Envy trailed off and looked over his shoulder back out the front door.  A strange sound followed by slow, sure footsteps before Maes Hughes was walking in the front door.

Envy cleared his throat before asking, “Could anyone show me where Gracia and Elysia are staying so I can go get them?”

Very little sleep was to be had that night.  Mostly everyone broke off into little groups to talk – Ed and Arthur took the Greeds aside since Ling wasn’t there; Maes found a secluded spot to send time with Gracia and Elysia; Al and Alphonse grabbed Envy and ran off with him; Gluttony pouted for a bit until one of the Lusts showed up to keep him company.

Hawkeye spent most of her evening on the phone with Major Miles, Havoc and Rebecca snuck off together, and the rest of Team Mustang played cards and indulged in some whiskey.  Edward and Roy made good use of their soundproofed bedroom, at some point Maes emerged to spend time with both Mustangs and the Elrics, and eventually the night came to an end.

At 5 am a gate opened in Roy Arthur Mustang’s front yard to call the souls home.  Before walking into the gate, Envy turned to grin at the two younger Elrics.  “You two better have this figured out after all the clues I gave you.”

Alphonse looked at Al and grinned.  “Yeah, I think we’ve got it covered now.  But, will we see you again?”

Envy sighed a bit.  “Not if I can help it.  Don’t want to see any more disasters hitting you guys.  Thanks for letting me spend my time with you.”

Al gave him a gentle smile.  “I still hope there’s more for you, Envy.  Please tell my parents I said hello.”

Ed had been silent during this, but as Envy turned to enter the gate he called out, “Hey Envy!  Thanks for the alchemy and for saving our asses!”

Envy turned to walk backwards into the gate.  “You’re welcome, pipsqueak.  Don’t overuse it!” With a grin, Envy disappeared into the blackness and the gate closed behind him.

Roy sidled up to Arthur and side-eyed him.  “You do know this means your road to the Fuhrership just opened, right?”

“I suppose it does, although right now I just want to sleep and take a shower,” Arthur answered after taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes. 

Slowly the group went back into Arthur’s townhouse/the compound until only Alphonse remained outside.  Sighing quietly, the youngest Elric entered the building closing the door behind him.

**The Gate**

The Gatekeeper made sure each and every last soul sent down for the cleanup was restored.  Envy was the last soul to return and he observed the small groups of returned souls chattering excitedly about their adventure.  Wrath had taken himself off someplace, but the other souls looked happy to have had the experience.

Slowly it occurred to Envy that the Gatekeeper was staring at him.   Swallowing, Envy turned to face him.  “What,” he asked the Gatekeeper suspiciously.

It (Envy still couldn’t think of it as a him even though he knew a Maes Hughes had merged with it) gave him an inscrutable look before stating, “I was positive I’d have to drag you back.”

Giving the Gatekeeper a somewhat nasty glance, Envy said, “Well you were wrong.”

The Gatekeeper inclined its head at him.  After another assessing look, the Gatekeeper began moving off to keep to its rounds.

Relaxing slightly, Envy walked over to the screen showing the compound they’d just left.  He’d enjoyed his time with the humans in a way he wasn’t sure how to explain.  Looking down the hallway, Envy identified the Hohenheim and Trisha who were Al’s parents.  Making his way over to them, he figured the least he could do was tell the souls what their children had been up to.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Speed wrote this so it's probably full of typos. Hope you guys enjoy all the cameos!


End file.
